Thursday, July 15, 2004
Has just stopped pourin here,was back last night and did whatever i should in 28hours time(that was real quick)
but all i'm really missing in these 25 days are them,my friends,it actually made no difference even if i'm in kl or not,cuz everyone's life is still movin on,still busy,but what i really hope is to get to see them everytime i got back from each different places.. is that possible?
working out there is never fun,and what's funny is,there's too much pressure that i've got to hang on to..but hate to admit that i'm starting to get used to it..making money and making my dad proud cuz i'm able to help him out..No, i never liked this kinda life,but sometimes we have to give up somethings we wanted the most,even if its our dream..(haha, sound familiar?)
it helped me think less..less about 'us'..or maybe not to think bout it at all,maybe like this it'll make things work out better..way better..
I can be independent
I will grow up..
it's just that you've never seen me like that before
it's not my fault that i'm wanting to act like a child
all i want is to be dependant to you somtimes
You never did understand
do you?
It's better for things to be apart in such away..
distance was never in between of whats happening..
all that matters is just you and me..
I've come home a changed Cheng Yee, I'm learning to love my family,my brothers and little sister,show them i care,the right way.. and I'm gonna make it this time..
I'll look awful in this period of time,wont be pretty,wont spend cash hoping to look pretty even most of the time it doesnt really works,won't care if I'm looking pretty or not cuz it doesnt matters anymore,not at the moment..
I've always been thinking of all of you in those 25 days..alone,and I'm wrong,I've known that from the start and i should have known better to let go and live what's ahead of me rather than what's behind my back,shadow,yen,capo,chinkuan,zzen.. all of you meant something to me,something special and too important to forget.. I dont want to sound childish,but i do hope this relationship will last,I dont know what runnin in your minds,but mines is telling me that though we're living our own lives right now,but i'll remember what happened since the bond between us started.. and will try keep it up,not just by talking..but hopefully everyone's willing to make the move..
Made no new friends in this trip,kept to myself,being silent and obedient..living busily,meaninglessly,emptily,learning to enjoy it and get used with whatever thats gonna happened,whomever im gonna meet,wherever im gonna land on..all i have to do is concentrate whats ahead.. telling myself it'll work..
it will..
__cherry drips*
7/15/2004 02:06:00 PM