Wednesday, April 28, 2004

21/4/2004
=round 4.30pm, he walked in towards me, a silly smile just like what i've asked..
think he felt kinda uneasy, not sure whther it's cuz of embarrasment or a sign of dissapointment..
said he'll pick me up after work..

=different from the picture in my head, way much taller, lil darker, and a lil hunchback: not exactly dissapointed, cuz have already prepared for the worst to come..told myself million of times that i should and will love him for the way he is, and i've done it..
question:who am i to care about people's appearance anyway??
answer:NO ONE
wonder what'll he think of me from that glance..

=was expression-less from that moment onwards in mimo, sms-ed him while Wee Ting is having break in the store room
cherry:hui hen se wang ma?
jun ye:bu hui shuo, bu xiang shuo, bu gan shuo, jing wan zai shuo:(

made it very clear dy huh?...



22/4/2004

=woke up with him right beside me.. how i wish it would just last a little bit longer..
qi shi zui pa de jiu shi suo you de dong xi dou rong hua chen yi ge mong jing, zui mei de yi ran shi zui bu zhen shi de..

it was so real.. cuz i can feel him, feel his touch, feel him melting my chilling fingers.. it can be so beautiful.. but why cant it last? everything's the same.. when you have it, you'll be begging for more, and as for me, i just want to close my eyes and be in the dream never wanting to wake up if it can be possible.. never wanting it to reach the end..

=was confused.. what's between us is not distance, but appearance. He can be so cold to me when we're outside.. am i being sensitive? or it's the fact? i can feel eyes glaring at us, i know im too short and he's a lil bit too tall.. but why cant they just keep their fucking eyes off us? it makes him staying away.. not wanting to be close with me.. or was it cuz i'm really that ugly... ugly...

completely different from the him inside... and yet, he still loves me,which i made myself believe..

=never shed a single tear for a guy, NO, cuz it was never worth it.. but i broke my own rule,when i was to think that he wont be right here tomorrow, and another tomorrow's tomorrow, and so many tomorrow's to come..
as if we're being sent back to how we've used to be.. was afraid, scared, that it may be the first, and yet the last, like how it have always used to be.. making everything looked so beautiful, and ended up right there, as if nothing ever happened..


23/4/2004
a LAST long lasting kiss, ever so passionate.. like it'll never end.. but it did..

i'll remember every single word you've told me, like a little child.. sometimes so innocent, and naive..

won't deny that i'm still hesitating on what you felt about and for me, but was a part of me kept telling myself it was true.. everything.. including you..

23-Apr-04 11:40
From:cherry
wo ai ni

23-Apr-04 11:51
From:Jun ye
Love u forever


24/4/2004

was late for work, and damn tired, last decision:don't get up and be sick.

lie yuen called and ask if i'd like to join them for a trip down to PD with ca po+her mum n dad.. without thinking, reply was:YES

was having a great time.. and what matters is not where you go and but you do, but whom you're with.. :) my friends..
have been a long time since we're hving a jolly time like this.. but there's 2 who's absent, yen and zzen.. 1 busy with enrolling into mmu, and another, in the ns..

Lie yuen's 1st time on alchohol,and 1st time seeing her high with not just plain coke.. :) cute.. vv cute..
should've been more fun if it weren't for those guyz,was kinda shy and yet 'sei yiu min' (1 of them) .. did nothing much.. cuz went to bed right after lie yuen.. hope it'll be an all girls trip next time.. or if there's some more sporting guy, i wont mind.. :P

25/4/2004
mum's depressed when i saw her once i got home.. dissapointed with me, and something else..

that bitch,rang her up n told her dad wanted to sleep with her before when they were in terrenganu..
why did she want to bring this up after all this while?!
trying to make mum lost trust in dad and tear our family apart? dont even think about it!

dad denied n explained the whole thing, it was back at terrenganu last november, when they were following jeff's fair, both of them was supposed to be at the same room cuz dad's only staying for as night,but he's really uncomfortable so he slept in the living room instead..

did he enter her? NO! so he DID NOT SLEEP with her! why does she have to tell everyone whom she've slept with?!
tak tau malu ke?! memalukan kaum wanita aje, kesian kan anak-anak kepada wanita macam ini..
who the hell cares whom she wants to get fucked up with?! why does she want to hurt my mum like that?! bitch!
perempuan hina!asalkan dengan laki aje sudah boleh tidur dengan lena, tak kisah ah siapa yang nakkan awak yang murah, laki tu pasti dipandang rendah leh saya, perempuan murahan cam ni pun nak,tengoklah siapa yang takutkan siapa! jangan ingatkan dengan muka yang seolah olah sangat kasihan tu mampu dapatkan simpati org lain..
muka yang entot tu yang paling dibenci,ingatkan laki kat belakang awak tu hebat sangat ke?! dia tu pun anjing orang lain,badan dan mulut aje yang besar, tapi otak tu sebenarnya lebih kecik dari biji kacang!..
jangan ingatkan kita orang mudah dipermainkan, orang yang bermaruah takkan takut pada orang yang TIDAK bermaruah seperti awak ni! jangan ingat dengan berlagak baik macam tu dapat bantu! dan jangan muncul kat depan saya.. dont even try

Thursday, April 08, 2004

ai neng gou rang ni shang hai bie ren, shang hai zi ji, dan wei shen me hai shi pian pian yao qu ai ne?
all i know is.. i'll still love you.. cuz darling, don't be afraid.. we're very near, very near, and it has nothing to do with distance.

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